Being alone and loneliness are two different things, I’ve learned that the older I grew.
Being alone doesn’t necessarily mean that you are lonely, it is very possible to be alone and enjoy your own company. You could enjoy taking care of yourself, thinking over everything that you would want to achieve, evaluating your growth over the years and marveling at it and so much more. Jonathan Van Ness said “Loneliness is, like, when you wish someone else was there, and solitude is when you enjoy being alone. I don’t always wanna be alone, but I definitely like pockets of solitude to recharge and come back to myself. I think that’s so important for everyone.”

Loneliness on the other hand has no space for the type of light that can be related to being alone. Imagine loneliness as an island in the middle of the sea, your stranded on it and no one knows your there it doesn’t matter how many bottled messages you send out because no one will ever find them and you know that and soon you stop sending out bottled messages and accept your fate as you sink further and further slowly by slowly into the quicksand that surrounds the middle of the island. That is loneliness, it is soul crushing and it sits your chest and suffocates you leaving you a shell of yourself. However, it is also like a series but you just don’t know how long each episode will last or how it will leave you. One episode may leave you feeling like you don’t fit in and uncomfortable at social gatherings, the next episode may beat you up and leave you crying buckets on a bathroom floor. You can never tell how it will leave you, a hardened soldier or a survivor?

 What is loneliness?
 It's a place where you are on your own
 A place that shuts out everything even in a room full of people
 It's in your mind 
 Sometimes it sits on your shoulders
 Sometimes your chest
 Its weight is crushing
 You can't breathe
 Your hands shake uncontrollably
 You sink to the floor, wanting to go through
 Your knees reach your chest
 You can't even rock yourself
 You sit still
 And shed silent tears riddled with barely sobs
 You don't want anyone to hear you
 Sometimes you press your hand to your mouth to stop the sound
 It hurts
 But you don't know how to stop it
 You don't understand it
 It's a resident in your mind
 Making an appearance whenever
 It paralyzes you
 You hide to deal with it
 You don't want them to think your ungrateful
 Ungrateful for them, for being there, for loving you
 But you can't help but feel abandoned sometimes
 So you let the silent tears tear through your body 
 Then you stand up and clean up and hold on to your sunshine as it comes
 Even a single beam is essential

So what causes loneliness? Many things for example transitions in life, moving from one place in your life to another can cause you to lose interaction with others and social disconnect; mental health problems, not feeling connected and understood by those around you. So this helps you realize that everyone experiences loneliness at some point in their lives, sometimes only for a particular period and others it’s drawn out and can last awhile.

Can it be remedied?
I believe so, I think first you need to stop fighting alone time because we all need it seeing as society is energy leech that sucks you dry. Alone time provides you with the chance to re-group and get power, think of it like a game of Super Mario you have all these challenges but to meet them you need power-ups.
Then find and indulge in something you love to offset the feelings of loneliness (it can be done, easier said than done but it can be done) for example I write poetry and I am learning to write music, pouring my thoughts onto paper plus I listen to music. Both these things have a soothing and calming effect on me when I feel like the world is closing in on me like an escape. This allows you to see yourself beyond the loneliness you feel, it shows you that you are more than you think you are.
Plus, ask yourself why you feel that way and if you don’t have an answer that’s fine but just asking can trigger you to subconsciously think and flip through experiences buried deep and one day it will smack you in the face. Lastly, breath slowly and do what you need to do to get through your day or next episode.

However, this isn’t a self-help article on how to tackle loneliness these are just things I have done to help me deal with my lingering loneliness and have decided to share.
Have you ever experienced feelings of loneliness? How did you deal with them?

Kahumuzah and Lotus Martha